Don’t be afraid of the dark

This life journey of self discovery and self actualisation is an interesting one, to say the least.

Just when you think you have it all figured out and you have your shit together the Universe offers you one more opportunity to dive deeply into the shadow aspects of yourself and your life.

Events from the past rise to reveal themselves to you. I don’t like to use the term “The Universe is testing you”, I see it more as an offering from the Universe to see how you respond to it.

Do you revert back to your old patterns of behaviour?
Do you go on the attack or the defence?
Do you fall into self judgement and criticism?
Do you hide away from the world?
Or do you use this as an opportunity to acknowledge and celebrate how far you have come?

I have recently experienced this myself
So many memories of events and decisions from my past arrived at the forefront of my mind and my heart
All of the emotions, shame, judgement, the what if’s or I should haves came up.
I felt myself spiralling into ALL of the old patterns, and then I stopped and became compassionately curious and decided to ask empowering questions instead.

What did I learn about myself from this situation?
What did this teach me about life and relationships?
Would I be who I am now without these?
Would I be where I am now without these?

This form of self enquiry opened my heart to be able to observe myself through the lens of love and compassion.

This practice of self compassion allowed my heart to be open to self forgiveness and forgiveness of others.

With each event, memory and emotion that arose, I sat with it and then journaled the following…

Even though I made this decision and it ……….. I am willing to forgive myself
Even though this action caused …………. I am willing to forgive myself
Even though (insert name) made me feel this way……… I am willing to forgive you
Even though (insert name) or event caused me pain ………….I am willing to forgive (insert name) and myself
Even though my choices resulted in ……………. I am willing to forgive myself

As human beings, we have an aversion to pain.
It’s uncomfortable and it’s painful
Many of us are also afraid of the dark
We fear there is darkness inside of ourselves
The shadow elements of shame, fear, regret, anger, envy, resentment, unresolved pain and suffering.

What I have come to know and understand is this…

There is no need to be afraid of the shadows
They are aspects of you seeking to be seen and heard
They are aspects of you that you have perhaps denied or rejected
Parts of you that yearn for your love, attention, compassion and acceptance

When you can embrace all aspects of who you are, both the light and the dark you become whole.
When you can invite your shadow elements to sit with you at your table you become whole.
When you open the door to your heart and allow its light to shine upon the shadow, the darkness no longer holds any power over you.
There is no longer a reason to be afraid of the dark.
From the shadows comes the greatest beauty.

Like a diamond formed and created over many years, working its way through the darkness of the earth so that its magic and beauty may see the light of day, so too will you as you evolve and grow through your shadows.

Amongst all of that, there is also the reminder that the Universe lovingly and unconditionally supports you no matter where you are on your journey.

I find myself pulled to the bottom of the ocean
As my feet hit the sand of the ocean floor
Mother Earth’s hand rises from the depths to lift me back to the surface, And I am safe

I find myself drifting aimlessly amongst the stars
No sense of direction within
As I drift and drift the hand of the Divine reaches out and steers me toward my True North
And I am free

I find myself walking alone in the desert
Feet burning on the sand, the rays of the sun stealing my moisture and unable to breathe it is so hot and I am nowhere to be found
As I wander aimlessly in the sand, Mother Earth leads me to her oasis upon which my thirst is sated and I am found
And I am safe

I walk my path carrying weight and the burdens of my past
Struggling to put one foot in front of the other
Afraid I cannot take another step the weight is too heavy
As the hand of the Divine appears before me offering to take the heavy load of my burdens from me so I might walk my path with ease and grace
And I am free

Through the darkness, tiny specs of light burst forth beckoning me to follow to turn my attention toward the light
As the light of the Divine reveals itself to me reminding me of the light within

Reminding me that in the darkest corners there is always light
Reminding me the breath is there to guide you back to the heart
Reminding me we are not alone
Reminding me we are not forgotten
Reminding me we are loved through every single moment both light and dark

I am safe
I am free