Handing Your Heart to Others

Let’s talk about forgiveness.

Along my journey there has been a huge pull to bring my family, my partner and those close around me alongside (because I was feeling ALL the love and why wouldn’t I want that for them too?)

In doing so, I was trying to change those around me. Which then saw me fall back into the old processes of needing everything (and everyone) outside me to ‘make’ me happy.

What I’ve learnt is how you feel and how you respond to your own situation.

I had to accept that I am exactly where I need to be in any given moment.

What are you accepting and allowing into your life right now?

Loneliness and the Inner Child Within

What does loneliness mean to you and how does it feel in your body.

For me it’s an emptiness in my belly and a heaviness in my heart centre. 

For years I surrounded myself with loads of people, kept myself incredibly busy and tried to fill the void with food, things and substances.

Too often we try and ignore the feelings and sensations in our body and many people keep themselves so busy with endless tasks in order to avoid addressing what is happening inside. 

They say that happiness is an inside job and that is absolutely true, but loneliness and heartache is an inside job also.

I often wonder how this could potentially relate to the child within, the aspect of ourselves that seeks constant reassurance that all is well and that it is safe.

As I think of the child within there are a few things that we can do that can help to ease the feeling of separation and disconnection. 

  • Ask the child within you what she or he needs from you right now 
  • Then based on the intuitive internal answer that you receive you can begin to provide that child within you what it has asked for 
  • Let your Inner Child know how much you love and cherish them 
  • Tell your Inner Child that you are sorry that you have not heard what it is that they have been wanting you to know 
  • Reassure your Inner Child that you are here for them now and will do your very best to care for them in the way that they require 
  • Visualise that you are sitting with your Inner Child and tell them how proud of them that you are, let them know how much you value them and love them
  • Give your Inner Child a hug and let them know that they are safe, that you will provide a space of protection for them where they can be free and safe
  • Play with your inner child, do things that inspire laughter, go to the park, pick flowers, chase butterflies and paint 
  • Allow your Inner Child to be creative and make believe 
  • Regularly check in with your Inner Child
  • Say to your Inner Child all of the words that you have ever wished that you had received in your life 
  • Let your Inner Child know that what they are feeling is ok 
  • Tell them how good they are
  • Nature your Inner Child through play song and dance 
  • Allow your Inner Child to believe in magic 
  • If we really explore the feeling of loneliness from within you may find that there is a longing for connection, to people, places and even pets.
  • At times of extreme loneliness, it could be fair to say that you are seeking externally in your world for deeper connections.

While this is extremely important and a basic human need to feel a sense of belonging in your community, your work place and your families, it is also just as important to go within and truly connect with the essence of your inner self. 

Many of us have potentially gone years or have perhaps never experienced the inward journey of discovering what is really going on inside.

What is even inside of us?

I know for many years my avoidance of looking within was due to the fear of what it was that I would find.

Would there be some sort of presence within me that would judge me for who I am and the choices that I have made.

Would there be some sort of validation that at the core of by Being there would be something so terrible about myself that seeing that would leave me more damaged that I had already felt.

Would I discover that there was something wrong and more frighteningly something so completely unlovable about me that I wouldn’t be able to deal with the pain of what that may feel like.

And if what I found was so terrible would that mean then that I was right in all of the negative beliefs that I had continuously though about myself?

I think that it is fair to say that most of humanity has the belief within them that they are flawed in some monumental way. 

And if this is our belief then it makes sense that we would create situations in our lives that would continue to reinforce this belief.

What I have come to know and understand through my own experiences of journeying inward is this:

  • The judgments that I have of myself are only mine and not what those around would ever think of me 
  • Throughout my life it is only I that has taken the words and actions of others and turned them into the story within myself of not being enough 
  • The loneliness that I have felt within myself has been due to turning my gaze outside of myself to see how the world views me 
  • There is a benevolent loving force within the Universe that sees only the perfection of who I am 
  • The loving force of the Universe not only flows around me but also through me and within me 
  • When you allow yourself to fully rest within the stillness of who you are there is only love, no judgement, no criticism only full loving acceptance of all that you are 
  • There is a higher aspect of yourself, this could be referred to as your higher self, your higher consciousness or your Soul 
  • This higher aspect of yourself is ok with all that you are and all that is occurring and has occurred in your life because it’s all learning that expands your spiritual growth 
  • That everything in the Universe is connected 
  • That we are all connected and share the same loving light within us all 
  • There is no separation there is only love and connection

These inward journeyings have taught me that I can never truly be lonely as I am never disconnected from the Divine presence of life.

They have taught me that the only forgiveness that I require from what I believe to be wrong about myself is my own forgiveness.

They have taught me that I am loveable and I am whole
They have taught me that when I am feeling deep loneliness then I have turned my gaze outward and it’s time to come back to centre.
They have taught me that when I value and honour myself then my outside world reflects this back to me.
They have taught me that I am good and worthy and safe
They have taught me that life is precious,  fulfilling and abundant
They have taught me that there is so much more to me than I think I am in my small and sometimes limited view of myself
They have taught me that forgiving others is the only way to true peace and release from the past
They have taught me that we are all doing the very best that we can
They have taught me that Nature is one of our greatest teachers
They have taught me that life loves me
They have taught me that when I seek guidance from a higher power it will always be provided to me
They have taught me that I can embrace all of my quirkiness and weirdness of myself and still be ok in the world
They have taught me that I am not my past and that all my past self needs from me is my compassion, love, understanding and forgiveness 
They have taught me that it is safe for me to express myself
They have taught me that there is a light within me that has the right to shine
They have taught me that I am not required to DO anything if I choose not to and I am still loved
They have taught me that the lonelier I feel the further away from myself I have drifted
They have taught me that there a stillness within us all, a deep peace much like diving far beneath the ocean
They have taught me that my thoughts are not a representation of the true essence of who I am

In the beginning of my journeying inwards through meditation I was afraid, deeply afraid of what would be there waiting for me.

What I found was a connection to as essence so deeply profound that it took the fear away and replaced it with love, a love so overwhelming that it still brings tears to my eyes.

This in itself taught me that if this Divine presence could love me so intensely then I must truly be loveable and good.

If we nourished, nurtured, loved and cared for the Inner Child within us as much as we would our own child then maybe we would all feel safe within our moments of loneliness, maybe we would all know that it was ok to feel that way and know that it is only temporary.

If we all held our inner child, encouraged her or him, and provided them with a safe space of peace and unconditional love then maybe all of us could at last feel truly whole, connected, enough and brave enough to love ourselves.


Insights From our Experiences

The transformation which occurs in the body in a tranquil state of mind is vital to really embody and grasp our own role in the world and that from our experiences.

Not only do we have an external meter which intuitively tells our body when something about a situation isn’t ‘right’, it also works alongside our internal system because we are all energetic beings.

We continuously assess the world around us and negative thoughts can also become a huge part of our own self destruction.

Meditations, alongside deep faith, help to overcome negative thoughts and promote a tranquil state of mind.

Watch to find out how meditation saved me from myself and how it can also support your ability to grow, love, experience and learn.

Allowing Distractions in Meditation

Are you finding yourself distracted when trying to meditate?

Rather than resistance to things that are around you, try allowing the distraction to wash over you.

Watch to find out more about how you can embrace sounds such as dogs barking or high winds on your meditation journey.

Holistic Alignment – Vlog

Being in alignment and expressing our passion through our work is no longer a nice option, it’s a need.

I think it’s important to remember we are doing the work because it lights us up and it brings joy.

That is the important part of our higher purpose right here on earth.

It’s essential for us to thrive in this new normal and our online work.

Watch below to find out more about energetic and vibrational alignment and how to reach the people who need to hear what you have to say, in this very moment…

Are you arguing for your limitations?

Why is it that we do this?

So often I hear the language of what people speak.

I hear people continuously repeating the reasons why they can’t improve their life. 

The reasons why they can’t be well, the reasons why they can’t let go of the past, the reasons why they can’t have the life that they want and they continue on with the same story over and over again.

Things like “I’m too much of an introvert to get out there and explore life”, “I have too much anxiety and social anxiety to be able to move forward in my life” and while yes these are very real states of beings that people experience they can also become your greatest prison.

The prison of the four walls of your limitations, and if you look around the four walls of your limitations perhaps once is wearing the face of your mother, or one is wearing the face of your past relationship, or wearing the face of high school and being told you weren’t good enough.

Perhaps one is wearing the face of your boss as you watch everybody else around you receiving the encouragement and rewards in career that you believe yourself to be entitled to. 

A situation that only seems to validate to you the reasons that you have decided why you can’t move forward.

This is what I now about the Universe.

The Universe will send to you situations and people to continue to validate to you what it is that you are feeling inside.

IF you are not feeling good about yourself inside, if you are feeling less than or unworthy and the story inside that you are telling is that you are not good enough to get further, that you are not good enough to get that job, that you are not good enough to be the weight that you want, that you are not good enough to be as healthy as you want to be, that you are not good enough to have the right relationship, then the Universe will continuously send situations and people to you so that you can continue to tell the story that you are currently telling. 

This is a lifetime of conditioning, this is a lifetime of repeated patterns of behaviour and this is a lifetime of telling the same story over and over again. 

Underneath it all there is the desire to reach a level of happiness, you will have that ideal perhaps of where you want to be and then the old conditioning will give all of the reasons as to why you can’t be happy.

This is only serving to continuously embed into your consciousness all of the reasons why you can’t.

What I have come across regularly is the phenomenon of presenting an alternative, challenge or solution to a particular situation only to have the person immediately begin to tell me all of the reasons why they can’t.

They immediately begin to argue for their limitations.

What is the story that you are telling yourself and those around you, begin to notice the moments when you go into the age old argument of holding onto your self imposed limitations.

You will know when this is occurring because your instant response to a new through process or a new opportunity will be “I can’t do this because …. “
“I’m not ready to this until …….”

“I need to do this before I can do that……”

“I still have more work to do on myself”

“I don’t have enough of …….”

and so on and so on and so on.

How are all of these limitations currently serving you?  

How is the story that you are telling fulfilling you and your life? 

Is the story that you are telling allowing for growth, is it allowing for you to be ready and willing when opportunity knocks on your door for you to just step through the doorway.

When you are arguing for your limitations the Universe is bringing to you opportunities for you to expand and grow because deep down that is really what you want, yet the moment that the door opens you slam it shut shouting all of the reasons why you can’t step over the threshold.

If you have had enough and are tired of continuously arguing for your limitations, then why not change the story that your telling, why not risk daring to dream for more, why not risk being brave just this once.

What is there really that you have to lose?

Have you not already lost all that you can by not daring to live the that you want to live right now.

Have you already given into the bullshit belief that the life that you want just isn’t available to you.

If you have already decided that you are not going to move forward in your life then really what else is there for you to lose? 

Have you decided that there is no advancement available to you and this is as good as it gets? 

And if so how does that really make you feel?  

Is there a part of you deep within yourself that is raging at the thought that you might be giving up on your dreams and your passions?

Is there a voice from deep within you that is saying “No, I’m not ready to give up, why can’t I have what others have?

If this is the case then start telling a different story 

Start saying YES to life, because in order for you to be able to overcome and move through the story of your limitations, the argument of your limitations you need to call bullshit on yourself.

I know that this is not always easy, what I do know for sure is that it is 100% possible should you choose to make a lasting change in your life.

So next time that you hear yourself arguing for all of the reasons why you can’t do something, in your mind say “I call bullshit” and then say…
“What if I did this”?

“What if I just said YES”?

“What if I just stepped over the threshold of this open door and give it a go, I can always come back to safely of where I am now and that’s ok” “At least I will have tried and given it a go”

Do you not think that it is better to have lived and failed??

Let’s be honest here, there is no such thing as failure, there are only learnings and feedback.

If you deem yourself to have failed at something that you have tried why not instead see this as the opportunity that it is for you to decipher what worked well, what did you like, what didn’t you like, what would you do differently next time.

In every perceived failure there is so much opportunity for growth and to learn so much more about yourself that you knew before.

The next time that you step forward to do something else you will be empowered with the knowledge of what works for you and what doesn’t.

So much of the indecision that people experience today is because they just aren’t willing to take a risk. 

None of us have all of the answers, none of us are given a guarantee that what are going to try will work and knowing this I still believe that it is so much better to have at least tried rather than be on my deathbed filled with regret at all of the opportunities in my life that I had let slip through my fingers. 

Stop today arguing for your limitations and start arguing for your greatness, your worthiness and start arguing for your YES to life.