There once was a girl who found herself floating in a sea of confusion, fear and ungrounded.
Her once secured line to Source had become more and more eroded each time that she forgot that it was there.
A lifeline that she had been born with, a golden cord of light that would keep her tethered to her Soul so that she would forever remember who she was.
It would take much for her to forget, years of doubt, uncertainty, and pain that turned her away from the voice of love as the voice of fear grew louder.
The voice was subtle at first.
It came in the form of teachers, school rooms and friends.
It came in the form of scriptures and authority figures.
It came in the form of bullies and magazines.
It came in the form of confused looks on faces of loved ones who did not understand her words.
It came in the form of emotions that were too loud and too intense for her to process.
It came in the form of words designed to keep her small and unsure.
In later years that voice became her incessant mutterings that would never cease in her head.
As this voice grew louder, the voice of God became softer, less frequent and the light of the golden cord began to dim.
Her constant companion that held her hand wrapped her in love and whispered to her that all would be well could not be felt or heard over the voice of fear.
She had moments in dreams, in nature and prayer when the golden cord flashed so brightly that she felt for sure she would remember what she had forgotten.
Moments when a love so profound would flow through her mind and body lifting her above the darkness only to have the hand of fear reach out and pull her back down into its fold.
Soon this became the ebb and flow of her life for many turns of the sun.
Then one day, she could no longer endure the constant battle that was raging within her.
She sent out a cry to the Divine that went straight to the heavens, the need so great and pure that it reignited the golden cord of light.
At first, the hand of the Divine came by way of people with messages of wisdom that her ears were ready to hear.
These words sparked hope deep in her heart, and the light began to seep through the layers of darkness long held there.
Then came the dreams, a dream of floating within the expansive vastness of the ocean, she but a small spec of bacteria floating freely.
There were no thoughts only the sense of being surrounded and held safely in the sea, then the realisation that she too was the sea, not separate to the sea, but one with the sea.
The light grew brighter.
Then the dream of being an egg experiencing the moment of conception, an incredible explosion of light, within the Universe, a galaxy unto its own was born. The intensity of love was like no other she had ever felt before.
The light grew brighter.
Another dream, an integrate highway of dominos.
As the first domino fell, it set off a chain of events that revealed to her all of the decisions that she had ever made in her life.
Demonstrating to her the ripple effect of every choice, every relationship, every decision, and how all of those had led her to exactly where she was meant to be right here right now.
The light grew brighter.
Then the eyes appeared, each time that she meditated they would be right there one green one purple, yet closed, oh the power of those eyes rippled throughout her whole body.
She could feel the universal love that those eyes represented, it was exhilarating and terrifying all at once.
What would I see if those eyes opened, would they see me, would they love me, who was behind those eyes?
This became a daily dance, would the eyes be there, would they open, did I want them to open, was I worthy of being seen through these incredible eyes.
The light grew brighter.
Meditation became the door through which the cord of golden light to my soul was remembered and healed.
Each time that I meditated I felt the presence of God that I had known as a child come to me, this felt both feminine and masculine in nature.
Then one night as I lost all sense of my physical body in meditation.
Wrapped up in a feeling of unconditional love, I felt that I was one with love, the eyes opened.
They were no longer purple and green, they were golden, as they opened and looked right into me, I felt a love so profound that it took me beyond this world and into another realm.
There were no words, no thoughts, nothing only pure expansive unconditional love, formless and timeless.
The light grew brighter than I could ever have dreamed.
Blessings
Kerryn
xxx
