Holding Bay

The last few months for me have been a strange journey.

Last year I focused a lot of time and energy on learning as a way to cope with the emotions of being isolated from my family and my husband.

From that, I became a certified Thrive Factor Profiler, Theta Practitioner and birthed my signature program ‘Awaken’.

This felt very exciting and there was a lot of momentum moving into the beginning of this year.

Then everything stood still.
It’s a strange sensation and I may not fully articulate what this has been like.

The words that I used were “I feel like I’m in a holding bay”.

Anytime that I would try to create or look forward I would get a full body “no” as though hands were placed on my shoulders telling me not yet, stand still, be patient.

This has at times been confusing, frustrating.

In fact, I have questioned my purpose on more than one occasion the last few months.

This has not been a comfortable space for me to be in and my only option has been to surrender and trust my intuition and the guidance of the Universe.

I decided around the same time to shift my focus then on what I needed and how I could best nurture myself.

From that, I was guided to dive into the Divine feminine Goddesses by connecting with a beautiful group of women.

This is supporting me in connecting to my femininity on a much deeper and more profound level.

What I have realised these last few days is that I am once I again going through another spiritual shift or awakening on a deep cellular level.

I am in a chrysalis and I can feel that a huge shift is about to take place.

I don’t know what that looks like I just know and trust that whatever emerges is perfect for where I am at this stage of my personal and spiritual growth.

A large aspect of that is embracing more of my femininity.

I was reminded a few days ago of my early years.
I developed large breasts at a very young age.
I was one of the first girls in grade 6 to wear a bra.
My experience of this was not great, I remember that the boys would chase me around the playground at lunch time just so they could flick my bra strap.
I was terrified, ashamed, embarrassed, and humiliated.
My desire to go through this phase quietly and privately did not happen.

In my teens and early adult years my experiences were even more uncomfortable as boys and men alike would stare at my breasts, to the point that they would not even speak to my face, they spoke to my boobs.
At times I felt violated, ashamed, angry, and unsafe.

So I began to dress in clothes to try and hide them. 

Eventually, I chose to have them reduced.

The reason that I am sharing this is that I learned or decided from a very young age that being feminine was something that I had to hide in order to be and feel safe.

No matter where you are on your spiritual path there will always be deeper levels of healing and growth that takes place.

My journey in peeling back the layers for healing to take place always reveals greater opportunity for further self love and self acceptance.
This has certainly been the case for me for the last 7 years.

So now I find myself going even deeper into this.

My introduction into the gorgeous 12 Thrive Factor Archetypes last year I feel was the beginning of this, each of them holding within them beautiful aspects of the Divine Feminine, goddesses in their own right.

Theta healing for me has been another step towards this as I continue to release blocks, fears and beliefs from this life, past lives and all I have carried with me ancestrally and genetically.

Supporting the gorgeous women who are working through my Awaken program has been another step of the metamorphosis.

Fully embracing, embodying and working with the Divine feminine Goddess consciousness feels to me to be the final piece of the puzzle in this cycle of change and transformation that I am currently experiencing.

So, wherever you are right now please know that you are not alone.

Growth, change and letting go of the old can feel uncertain, scary and at times frustrating.

What I do know and trust for sure is this.

While it may not seem clear to you in this moment, you will reach a place where it all makes sense.

When it does you will realise that it has all been for your highest good to support you in emerging into the version of yourself you are meant to be.

In Love and Gratitude
Kerryn
xxx

I am sure you have experienced this yourself…

You spend so much time trying so hard to make something happen only to discover that when you let go of controlling the outcome it shows up in the most unexpected way.

I’m all for setting intentions/goals and having dreams.

In fact I spend time most days doing my manifestation work.

I’ll be completely honest
There has been more than one occasion where I have thrown a little tanti and said f*ck it all when nothing seems to happen when I feel or think it should.

What I have experienced on more than one occasion is this.

The moment that I have surrendered and accepted what is (“it is what it is” is one of my fav sayings)
Something magical happens.

The thing that I was hoping for or something better shows up.

You see us ‘wee’ humans can only see what’s available through our lived experience and beliefs.
The lens of who we believe ourselves to be if you like.

You may be trying to create one thing and the Universe knows that this is either not the right time or that you are capable of so much more.

Imagine you wanted to be a glorious 10ft oak tree with giant roots steeped deeply in Mother Earth, and a huge canopy of leaves above you.

This wish goes out to the Universe and she replies with
“But wait dear one, you must first be a seed planted deeply in the Earth, you must then be fed and nurtured by the sun and rain before you can sprout”

The Universe is not saying no, or that you are not worthy of being a glorious oak tree.
She is simply reminding you that you must first experience being a seed before you can reach your full potential.

A different example may be.

You dream of starting something new.
It feels big and exciting and juicy
So you get to work and you create it.
You put all of your heart, soul and your energy into it and then release it out into the big wide world and only a few people find it.

In this example the Universe gave you a vision she knew you were capable of creating.
However because it did feel so big and new, somewhere inside of you there was a voice of doubt, a niggle that maybe it was too big for you.

In this example you were given the time and space to try it on for size so that you could quieten the voice of doubt and know in your heart that you can actually do big things.

What I know for sure is this, when you place your faith and trust in the Universe, let go of the need to control and take action when inspiration comes, everything happens in perfect divine timing.

Blessings
Kerryn
xxx

Spread your wings and fly

As a child, I always felt that I should be able to fly.
There was an aspect of myself within that wanted to be free, to feel the air rushing at my face and the feeling of soaring on the thermals of air around me.
It felt constrictive to be stuck on the ground and trapped in my body.
At night the only way that I could drift into sleep was to imagine that I was leaving my body out through the top of my head, and then floating in the air above my body.

This would instantly relax me, I felt free and I could do summersaults above my body.
Sometimes this would last for a while and at others, I would come back into my body with a thud.

I now know that this was the Spirit essence of myself leaving my physical body. In other words, a form of astral travel.

As I got older it felt as though my wings had been clipped and I became more connected to my physicalness.

I have also watched this play out in children, my son when he was 4 wanted a superman outfit.
I remember seeing his disappointment when the cape didn’t work and he couldn’t fly.

We are all born with a remembering of expansiveness, free from physicalness and able to move through space and time.

Then as we become more anchored in our physical forms we forget that we are more than just the bodies that we came into this life with.

Over time we become invested in the belief of our limitlessness, we forget that we are eternal beings living a human experience, we lose touch with our natural intuition and begin to live our lives through the beliefs, thoughts and opinions of the world around us.

We start the journey of seeking outside of ourselves to better understand who we are, becoming defined in our identity based on what others tell us who and what we should be.

A child spreads his or her wings, dancing and singing in their own joy until someone tells them they are too loud or annoying.
They then decide at that moment that they should be seen and not heard.
More often than not this then becomes their life cycle, a life of keeping quiet, staying small and changing all of who they were born to be to keep others around them happy.
So that they can feel safe in the world.
These children then become adults who have essentially had their wings clipped.

What children don’t always realise at that young age is that the adult could have simply been having a bad day, was stressed about work/money/relationship and just needed space to think.

The message, however, has already embedded into the subconscious of that child. Being me makes others unhappy.

This is a cycle that is repeated throughout all of our lives.
We express who we are, and then determine if this is acceptable based on the reactions around us.

As an adult, the messages throughout our lives have become so mixed up in our belief systems that identifying who you really are can feel as difficult as finding a needle in a haystack.

Fear of failure becomes the norm, holding you back from fully investing in yourself or life.
The pain of making a wrong decision keeps you stuck in the same place for years, unable to make a choice one way or the other.
This often leads to patterns of behaviour that numb that pain.
The regret of not having done something sooner can be just as crippling and becomes the belief that it is too late.

What I have come to believe is that it is never too late to spread your wings and fly.
In fact, I honestly feel that it is later in life that you have the perfect opportunity to do so.

I started my business at 44, before this, my favourite saying was “I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up”
I can now recognise that this was the perfect timing in my life to do so.
Everything that I did prior to this was preparing me for when I was ready to be who I wanted to be, and not what I thought everyone else wanted me to be.

I realise now that my wings weren’t formed enough for me to fly until then.

This, of course, does not mean that there isn’t opportunity or room for further growth.
We live in an ever changing, evolving and expansive Universe, we never stay the same, we are continuously changing and growing even if we are not consciously aware of it.

We are constantly discovering new things about ourselves, our tastes change, our view of the world changes, our opinions change all based on our growth and life experiences.

Unlike the butterfly, we are blessed to have many years to emerge from the chrysalis, to spread our wings and fly.

The question to ask yourself is are you hiding in your cocoon out of fear or out of preparation?

The greatest lesson that I have learned is that doing something is far healthier than doing nothing.

Taking a leap of faith and trying something equates to growth.
Forward momentum in anything that you do will lead you into the direction that is right for you.

There are no failures only learning.
When you try something and it doesn’t work, it simply means that a new direction is needed.
This is not a failure, it is more like realignment and recalibration, turning you in the direction of what best suits you.

If you never discover what doesn’t work for you, then how will you ever know what does?

You were born with wings to fly, keeping them caged or clipped does not serve you or the world.

Be brave enough to try, each time that you do your wings unfurl, testing the air around you.

If they aren’t spread wide, how will you ever catch the perfect thermal?

They say that it is better to have loved than to never have loved at all.

So isn’t it better to have flown than to have never flown at all?

Blessings
Kerryn
xxx

 

Start 2021 with a Fresh Commitment to Meditating Daily

There are many misconceptions out there around meditation.
Meditation does not require that you be sitting in a cave sitting in the lotus position.
Meditation doesn’t mean that you no longer think or float endlessly within the infinite blackness of space of no thought – this, of course, is true for the monks who spend 12 hours a day for years to achieve this state. 

For the rest of us though, it is a state that we can experience, albeit fleetingly, I have achieved this state, however the moment I became aware of it, I was no longer in it.

Meditation takes many forms and can occur spontaneously.
It is a state of acute awareness and presence.

Have you ever experienced a moment of awe?
A moment of witnessing such beauty that it took your breath away?
A moment where time felt as though it stood still?

In those moments, all thought ceases, and you become one with the experience.
At that moment, you become fully present.

There is too much scientific research to ignore the fact that a regular meditation practice improves your physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing.

We are moving into an age where heart centredness, compassion and unity are words and intentions that are becoming ingrained in our everyday language.

2020 has been an opportunity for us to reconnect with our hearts wisdom and intelligence, a time to get out of our heads and tune in to the needs of your soul.

As we move into 2021, we are being guided to live from that heart centred space, this means, making decisions that are in alignment with your heart, your values, and your integrity.

Meditation has taught me the importance of this, not only does it improve your emotional and physical wellbeing it also provides you with the space to tune into the intuitive guidance of your heart.

The way to integrate a new habit or daily ritual and have it ingrained into your subconscious is to do something for a minimum of 30 days.

I also believe that to know yourself on a deeper level it requires nurturing a healthy relationship.
If you want to get to know someone, you take time out of your schedule to meet with them, you have regular conversations with them and you ask questions.

This practice has provided me with a greater sense of self, increased intuition, and emotional wellbeing.

My invitation to you is to follow the below steps each day, the subconscious mind loves repetition, and repetition is conducive to lasting change.

Create a sacred space

Choose a place to meditate each day
Light your favourite candle
Play relaxing music

Daily Practise
Sitting or resting comfortably

  1. Place your hand gently on your heart centre – this activates your heart chakra
  2. Focus your attention on the sounds that you can hear around you, observe these sounds with a gentle curiosity, no need to label, just observe
  3. Are there any aromas that you can you smell? 
  4. How does the temperature of the air feel around you, is it cool or warm?
  5. Notice the sensation of the fabric of your clothing against your skin
  6. Gently shift your attention to the sensation of your feet resting on the ground
  7. Feel the weight of your body where you rest 
  8. Place your full attention and awareness to the top of your head  
  9. Slowly begin moving your awareness from the top of your head all the way down through your body to the tips of your toes, and then move it back up again through your body and place your full attention at your heart centre.  
  10. Feel the gentle rise and fall of your chest beneath your hand with each breath that you take for the count of 10 breaths  
  11. Drop your awareness fully into your heart centre and settle your attention here 
  12. Allow to arise within your hearts awareness the essence or knowing of someone, something, or someplace that you feel deep gratitude for, allow this sense of gratitude to fill your whole heart, your whole body, as your heart expands in gratitude notice how this feels   
  13. Stay with this feeling for a minimum of 5 minutes and increase by 5 minutes each week
  14. With your attention focused on your heart centre, ask “what does my heart want me to know today?”
  15. Take some time to write in your journal all that came up for you.

Doing this exercise daily will provide you with clarity and insight into the needs of your heart, your mind, and your soul.

I have observed so many women who have sat my meditation classes over the years naturally increase their intuition, confidence, and emotional wellbeing through regular meditation.

May you be well
May you be peace
May you be love
May you be free from pain and suffering
May you awaken to the light of your true nature

In love and gratitude
Kerryn
xxx

You are a Magical Bad Ass

Your cells are made up of star dust

You are a daughter of the Galaxy

You just know shit

You have a built in bullshit meter

You say it and it happens

When you focus your attention on what you want the world goes out of its way to accommodate you

You have transformed your pain into your greatest healing superpower

You understand the power of ritual, connection, energy and know how to harness this in ways that supports your highest good

You talk to the animals and nature as though they are your long-lost friends

You can and do reach deep within you and tap into the infinite resource of wisdom, strength, and love that you know is always there for you

You can turn the darkest moment into the brightest star

Your glass is always half full

You see the beauty in every soul you meet and shine a light on it for them to see

You tune into the Divine and allow her healing light to flow through you

You always land on your feet

You trust your inner guidance to always lead you to the right people, places, and situations

You celebrate joyfully the good fortune of others

People are drawn to your shining light like moths to the flame

You give others hope when they have lost their own

No matter what the darkness you always find the light

Know it, own it, live it

Blessings
Kerryn
xxx

 

Saying “YES” to you is the greatest gift that you can give to yourself

I often tell people that I am a recovering people pleaser.

I say recovering because it is an aspect of myself that is completely ingrained in my Psyche.

A desire to help others, to make others feel good, to love those who don’t know how to love themselves, to love others as they are, and I feel deep compassion for all whom I meet, love and work with.

I have a deep desire for others to be happy, to find happiness within themselves and in their lives.

This has often in my life led me to say YES to people, places, and situations over and over again, even when I didn’t really want to.

The thought of upsetting another person or letting someone down was not worth the anxiety it would cause to say no, so I would just say yes.

So much of my personal healing journey has been to learn to say no with love.

To have healthy boundaries with time and energy.

The most important lesson however that I have learned is to say yes to me first.

Discovering that one of my primary Archetypes is the Advocate Rescuer has further helped me in being able to embody this in all areas of my life.

She is all about helping others, she is kind, generous, supportive and has a huge compassionate heart.

She embodies the energy of the Goddess Kwan-Yin and she has been one of my greatest teachers.
I have come to love this big-hearted compassionate archetype.

When you love, support, advocate for and say yes to yourself first, you become a love-filled cup that is overflowing with more than enough for all that you choose to share with.

Blessings
Kerryn
xxx

 

Awaken to the voice of your Soul

Are you awake to the voice of your heart?

Are you awake to the song of your Soul?

Are you awake to the truth of your intuition?

Are you awake to the wisdom of your life’s experience?

Are you awake to your truth?

Are you awake to the symphony of life that plays for you each day?

Have you opened your heart to the creative force that is the Divine to flow to you and through you?

Have you witnessed the beauty of your Soul through the reflection of your eyes in the mirror?

Have you used your voice to express the infinite wisdom within you?

Have your ears heard the harmonious melody of life?

Your heart knows you
Your Soul knows you
The Divine knows you
Life knows you

When you turn your attention inward and disconnect from the external noise of the world around you, you begin to awaken.

When you trust the voice of your heart and ignore the noise in your head you begin to awaken.

When the attune your attention to the wisdom of your Soul you begin to awaken.

When you see the value and worth within you, you begin to awaken.

When the symphony of the Universe fills your heart, mind and soul, you are starting to awaken.

Blessings
Kerryn
xxx

 

If not now when?

I have at times in my life been the perpetual “gonna” girl, which in Australian slang means ‘going to’.

They have often throughout my life sounded like this…

I’m going to lose weight
I’m going to have a daily exercise practice
I’m going to leave this unhealthy relationship
I’m going to get healthy
I’m going to start my business
I’m going to write a blog
I’m going to write a book
I’m going to change my life
I’m going to leave my toxic job

This then turns into one day…

One day when I have ……… I’ll be happy
One day I’ll do my dream
One day I’ll meet the right person
One day I’ll get help
One day I’ll listen to my heart
One day I’ll change my life
One day I’ll get healthy
One day I’ll have a pet
One day I’ll write a book
One day I’ll take that art class
One day I’ll take time to do what I love
One day I’ll have time to get healthy
One day I’ll when I have time to get help
One day I’ll love myself
One day I’ll have my dream job

Your intuition and the voice of your soul are constantly nudging you with ideas and inspiration as to what would most serve your happiness and your highest good.

A feeling inside of you that your body would love you to move

An idea or image in your mind of the right foods for you to eat

A thought that I should really do this

A dream of a healthy relationship or the perfect business idea

A wish for the place that you would love to live in

A knowing of a healthy relationship

You know deep inside of yourself exactly what it is that you want to do with and in your life.

If you don’t start taking action on it now, then when will you?

One day or I’m going to can roll into each new year and continue this momentum until before you know it 5 years have passed.

5 years of still sitting in the same place
5 years of still being in the same relationship
5 years of still being in the same toxic workplace
5 years of still living an unhealthy life style
5 years of putting your dreams on hold
5 years of saying one day
5 years of not moving forward

So if not now when will you do what it is that you want to do in your life?

Are you willing to wait another 5 years to create the change that you want to make in your life?

If this is you and you are ready to make a positive change in your life then please get in touch.

Blessings
Kerryn
xxx

 

Compassionate Heart

I have always felt deep compassion for others, be it animals, people, or nature.

Throughout my life, the love that I have felt for others has often felt as though my heart would literally burst.

Being able to feel that level of compassion for myself, however, has been one of my life’s struggles.

It has always felt easier to do so for another than to do so for myself.

Having discovered that I have the Advocate Rescuer Archetype has given me such a deeper insight to myself.

She has a huge heart and embodies the spirit of the beautiful goddess of compassion Quan Yin.
She loves to help others, she stands up for those who cannot stand up for themselves, and she accepts those she meets for who they are without judgement.

One of her biggest lessons, however, is to show that same level of love, compassion, and acceptance to herself.

Learning to view and treat myself with compassion has been one of the greatest gifts that I have given to myself.

It has helped me to forgive myself for some really shitty choices and decisions that I have made in my life and as I have done that, I have been able to recognise that all of the choices that I have made has moulded me into the person I am today.

I like and value the person that I am today, and the commitment that I made to myself more than 6 years ago to rewire my negative self-talk and self-judgement is what supported me in doing so.

So how can you be more compassionate to yourself?

  1. When you find yourself criticising or judging yourself, stop and say “I am doing the best that I can”
  1. When the monkey mind is telling you all of the negative BS stop and say “I am enough”
  1. When you catch yourself beating yourself up for not doing something right or the way you think that you should have stop and say “I love and approve of myself”

These are just a few of the ways that I learned to become more compassionate with myself.

You too can make a commitment to yourself to shift the way that you treat yourself.

This is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to yourself.

Blessings
Kerryn
xxx

Stop waiting for someone else to tell you it’s ok to be you

As children, we intuitively read the lay of the land, we feel others emotions along with reading their energy fields.

As a result of this, we learn to modify our behaviour to make sure that those around us will love, nurture, feed, and care for us.

We learn early on that if I do this thing or act this way the grown-ups around me will be happy and so I will feel safe.

Children from the ages of 0 – 7 are sponges soaking up all of this external data that then becomes hard-wired into your subconscious.

Then you go to school and learn about friends and judgements even criticism.
So you further modify who you want to be to feel safe and accepted in the world around you.

Then we move into high school where judgement, criticism and a driving need to fit in and feel accepted drives all of your behaviours.

This pattern is repeated throughout most of our lives.

Always seeking external feedback and validation as to whether or not the way we think, speak, look, dress, walk, is accepted.

It’s no wonder that we experience identity crisis’s most of our lives.

There comes a time in your life when you just have to say F*** it, I just want to be me.

Then begins the journey of letting go of all of the beliefs and labels that were never yours, to begin with.

The question to be asking yourself is…

“How do I feel about this thing?”
“What do I really want to say?”
“Who do I want to be?”
“Who would I be if I could be whomever I wanted to be?”
“What do I really want to do?”

Take time to observe how you react to situations and make your decisions.

Are your decisions based on your needs and desires or are they determined by how you will be viewed, accepted, and loved?

Do you squash down your views and thoughts out of fear of how those around you will judge you?

Is your opinion of yourself determined by the views and opinions of others?

One of my favourite sayings is “If not now, when?”

If you don’t love yourself now, when will you?
If you can’t be yourself self now, when will you?
If you can’t express your views and opinions now, when will you?
If you can’t accept yourself now, then when will you?

In other words, what are you waiting for?

Are you waiting for someone else to tell you that it’s ok for you to be you?

If so then stop!

One of the greatest lessons that I have learned on my own personal self-discovery journey is this.

The more that I accept myself for who I am the more accepted I feel in the world.
The more I value and respect myself the more value and respect I am treated with in the world.
The more I express myself the more actively I am heard in the world.
The more I love myself the more loved I feel in the world.

There is only one you.

No one else can be you and no one else can do you.

Blessings
Kerryn
xxx