May 2019 - Holistic Essentials

If you haven’t already read Liz’s Eat, Pray Love I highly recommend doing so.

Maybe you have already watched the movie.

For me I am an avid book reader, and even more so I love to listen to the author retell their own story.

I find that this connects me on such a deeper level to the energy and the emotion behind their story.

What stood out for me most when I read this beautifully moving book was how much of her story that I resonated with on such an incredibly deep and personal level.

I too had gone through divorce, and the lead up to finally making this decision was incredibly painful to me.

I felt as though I had failed not only myself but my family, and there was unexpected fall out in my decision that plunged me into a terrible depression.

Unfortunately at that time in my life I turned my back on my already much travelled spiritual journey and I became angry with the world.

It was this turning my back on my spirituality, my connection to Source and my guides that had me journey a 10 year path of anxiety, depression and stress.

Don’t get me wrong, there were some amazing moments during this time as well, but most of it was overshadowed by a deep unhappiness that no matter what I did or how I tried to numb this nothing really seemed to lift me out of the where I was at.

It wasn’t until late 2015 that I knew deep in my heart that I could no longer continue to live the life that I was living.

I had started to talk to the Universe again, actually I was daily begging Source to somehow help me and to save me from myself.

There were a series of intense events that occurred in my life at that time over several months, it was as though the Universe had stacked up all of the Dominos and was patiently waiting for the right moment that it could push the first one.

I was gently guided to meditation and was strongly guided to commence a daily meditation practice and this was amazing to me as it really started the opening up of my heart process and cracking open the door of the Universe.

This to me felt as though this was perhaps the first domino that had begun to fall. Of course it wasn’t until a few months later that I was able to really see that as a truth I was completely oblivious to what was about to occur as I was fully in survival mode only at that time.

It often amazes me but really shouldn’t surprise me that it is largely heartbreak that will crack you wide open for the real shift and change to take place.

And it was through this experience that I found myself on my knees to God/Source begging for help, begging to be saved from myself and begging to be shown the way forward.

This was the beginning of my incredible reawakening and it happened fast, once the dominos fell and I surrendered to the process the acceleration of my awakening, my healing, reconnecting to my Soul, reconnecting to the unconditional love of the Universe, speaking once more to God was on a fast train one way trajectory that no one and nothing could stand in the way of.

The last five years of my life has been my complete focused intention of finding God/Source, of finding myself and of course discovering my purpose in this life.

There have been moments of such exquisite expansion, complete out of body experience, a sense of complete unity and oneness that utterly took my breath away, it was such an incredible moment that I wondered how on earth I possibly I could fit back into my human body.

Synchronistic events and moments that have blown me away and filled me with joy.

In surrendering to all of this, I often have to pinch myself for all that has occurred in my life over the last 5 years.

It literally feels to me that until that moment I had been completely asleep and only then did I wake up to this life.

In all honesty there was an aspect of myself that until that moment hadn’t really decided to truly live or be here.

My life is now filled with love, with compassion, with healthy fulfilling relationships and I thank God/Source with all of my heart everyday for saving me from myself and opening my eyes and heart.

So it is truly an honour that I will be getting to be in the same space as Elizabeth Gilbert where she will be sharing her personal journey, her insights and her spiritual teachings with us all.

The Ultimate Girls Week Away is a week of spiritual teachings, of connecting to like minded beautiful women all on their own journey who are also seeking their own inner wisdom, a spiritual connection and a chance to nurture yourself.

Are you ready to have your very own Eat Pray Love adventure?

There is not a moment that I would change and it is a journey that I am blessed to still be living and breathing everyday.

I invite you to allow myself, Liz and 29 incredible facilitators to hold space for you to have your own experience of self discovery.

Yes I know, Liz, Lizzy, THE Elizabeth Gilbert, it is going to take all of my willpower not to gush and be all fan like.

It is going to be so hard to stay cool in her presence.

I’ll probably snort and laugh hysterically lol

You can hold your place now for only $50 and pay as you go and you will find this under the registration tab on the website.

Find out all the details about the
ULTIMATE GIRLS WEEK AWAY HERE

And check out the Facebook Event HERE

Big Magic and Love,

Kerryn
xxx

When it comes to the love and safety of your cubs nothing else matters.

There is nothing more powerful than the primal rising of the Mumma Bear.

When Mumma Bear kicks in all rationality flies out the window, all your spiritual tools once activated and tapped into fall away in the path of Mumma Bear.

In its place rises the warrior, although she may feel helpless and just a tad fearful she is ready to tackle, fight and conquer that which is the cause of her cubs pain.

Mumma Bear has no thought of words, she has no care for protocol and she absolutely does not give a flying fuck of who may be in her path, if you are unlucky enough to be standing there you will soon find yourself flat on the ground.

Mumma Bear is ready to take on anything and anyone who stands within an inch of her cubs sacred space, and she will not give a thought to time, distance or cost.

In the moment that Mumma Bear awakens, the person that she identifies with ceases to exist.

It is primal, it is ancient and she will not be soothed or rest until her cubs are safe and well.

Those who dare mess with her cubs could not possibly fathom the depths or the lengths that Mumma Bear will go to, to protect her cubs.

There is no mountain that she cannot climb in the name of her cub, there is no ocean that she cannot cross to get to her cub, there are no demons or monsters that she cannot slay to keep her cub safe from harm.

There is nothing that can stand in the way of the fierceness of a Mumma Bears love.

The energy required to maintain the full force of the Mumma Bear can only be sustained for short periods of time.

It arises as an intense force of nature, like a cyclone that blows in destroying everything in its path, but like the cyclone it eventually blows itself out.

Once the wind dies down, once the volcano stops spewing lava, once the rain stops there lies a deep calming presence.

Mumma Bear is uncontrollable, Mumma Bear knows only fear and anger, Mumma Bear only has her own energy and resources to draw on and once that has been depleted she is left feeling spelt, lifeless and yes even helpless and perhaps a little sheepish.

So I have a confession to make, I recently allowed myself to fully, utterly and completely succumb to the warrior Amazon Lioness Dragon Mumma Bear deep within.

I surrendered to rage, frustration, anger, fear, and helplessness, and a beautiful dear friend of mine whom I love and adore unfortunately had the pleasure and the displeasure of experiencing my complete crumbling into the full morphing of Mumma Bear and it is fair to say that he was at the receiving end of the full force of all that I was experiencing in that moment.

There were tears, there was snot, there was blubbering, there was anger, and a frustration that was completely irrational.

There may have even been very descriptive ways in which I was going to hunt down and conquer any who had dared to threaten my cub.

I’m embarrassed now that the Mumma Bear has since receded back into the depths of my being and as her energy left my body, as I felt the force of her energy begin to dissipate from my cells, what was left in its place was embarrassment, shame, and a sense of everything that I am trying to control is not in my control.

As a mother there is nothing worse than witnessing or hearing the pain and the suffering in your cubs voice and in that moment I wanted more than anything to take all of that away.

I wanted so desperately to remove all that pain so that my beautiful cub could be at peace to feel happiness and be safe.

In the hours after Mumma Bear left the building I did experience a deep sense of peace and calm.

It was then that I surrendered to the universe and I once more felt the presence of my beautiful angelic friends surrounding me.

It was from this space that I was able to move back into the giving over of my cub to the universe, trusting that there is an angel that is being sent that will assist him in transitioning through this period and to give him all of the support and help that he needs at this time.

From within this space and in the receding of Mumma Bear, all that I was left with was the opportunity to surrender, trust, and to come back into alignment.

Embarrassingly, I will forever have black-and-white proof of how fully I succumbed to fear, frustration, anger, and anxiety, and there are words that I spoke in the moment of being completely taken over by the Mumma Bear that will be remembered.

My only choice in this life as a Mumma Bear is to trust that I have empowered my cubs with all of the tools and resources that they could ever need to live this life that is their life, not my life.

My only choice is to trust that their soul has its own path its own journey it’s only learnings.

In order for the breakthroughs needed for their souls expansion and growth to occur in this life I must take a step back, I must rein in my Mumma Bear and I allow my cubs to experience the fullness of this journey so that they may grow and evolve just as their Soul chose in coming into this world.

Once all of the fire of Mumma Bear is gone what is left is a deep sense of guilt and shame.

I have not always been the greatest mum.

I have in the past made horrendous life choices that effected my cubs.

I wasn’t always there for them when they needed me most.

I was so caught up at times in my own unhappiness, in my own pain, that I wasn’t always available for them.

I didn’t always keep them safe and I didn’t always protect them, and in many ways I have often felt that I have failed them terribly.

Once the dust settled I realised that deep beneath it all on some level, in some way, that if they are happy and ok, my guilt and shame can receed to the deepest corners of my Being so that I can pretend that it is no longer there.

In the face of their pain, hurt and suffering, those darkest aspects of myself rise with even greater intensity within me to remind me of how much I have failed them.

The shame and the guilt burns within my heart like a branding iron marking me for all to see so that they too will know my dark and shameful secret.

So not only is Mumma Bear fighting to keep her cubs safe from harm, she is also fighting to stop the pain of that shame and guilt from swallowing her up completely.

So as I lay here in the dark thanking the universe for the gift of my incredibly beautiful cubs, cubs that are strong, independent, stubborn, sensitive, empathic, intuitive, gentle, funny and emotionally mature beyond their years, I see clearly the Souls within who have chosen this life journey for the exact situations that I have tried so hard to shield them from.

In this darkened room as I surrender myself to Source, I lovingly hand over these beautiful cubs as it is Source who knows better than I what their real story and life journey is.

It is Source that has all of the pages to the manuscript as I only have these few pages filled with my lines.

As I lay here inspired by the words of the beautiful Elizabeth Gilbert, I have invited shame into my heart, I have said to shame “it’s ok, you did the very best that you could and I love you, come into my heart and I will look after you and keep you safe, there is a place for you here.”

To guilt, I have invited into the home of my heart, thank you guilt, you have done your job so well, I have come to know you so well and you are welcome here, come into my home and rest awhile, I love you and I will keep you safe.

To anger, my very dear friend, you have kept me safe for so much of my life, you have been with me for such a very long time and you have worked so very hard, please come into the home of my heart, you must be very tired, come in and rest awhile and I will take care of you and love you. There is a place for you here.

To fear, my very very dear friend fear, thank you for also working so tirelessly to keep me safe, thank you for showing me how important my cubs and my life are to me, thank you for taking such good care of me, you have done your job so very well. Come into the home of my heart my beautiful friend and I will love you, I will watch over you and I will keep you safe. There is a place for you here.

Thank you guilt, shame, anger and fear for all that you have done for me. There is a place for all of you here and I am so very grateful to you all.

Everything is going to be ok now because I am going to take over from here.

I’ve got this.

All is exactly as it should be.

I’ve done the very best that I can and will continue to do the very best that I can.

Will Mumma Bear rise again?

ABSOLUTELY she will, and I love her so very much for that.

Will Mumma Bear arise so intensely again within me?

Probably, but I feel now that she will allow in that moment more space for the truth that ALL will be well to prevail.

Blessings

Kerryn

xxx

My Eat Pray Love Journey

The Rising of Mumma Bear