What does loneliness mean to you and how does it feel in your body.
For me it’s an emptiness in my belly and a heaviness in my heart centre.
For years I surrounded myself with loads of people, kept myself incredibly busy and tried to fill the void with food, things and substances.
Too often we try and ignore the feelings and sensations in our body and many people keep themselves so busy with endless tasks in order to avoid addressing what is happening inside.
They say that happiness is an inside job and that is absolutely true, but loneliness and heartache is an inside job also.
I often wonder how this could potentially relate to the child within, the aspect of ourselves that seeks constant reassurance that all is well and that it is safe.
As I think of the child within there are a few things that we can do that can help to ease the feeling of separation and disconnection.
- Ask the child within you what she or he needs from you right now
- Then based on the intuitive internal answer that you receive you can begin to provide that child within you what it has asked for
- Let your Inner Child know how much you love and cherish them
- Tell your Inner Child that you are sorry that you have not heard what it is that they have been wanting you to know
- Reassure your Inner Child that you are here for them now and will do your very best to care for them in the way that they require
- Visualise that you are sitting with your Inner Child and tell them how proud of them that you are, let them know how much you value them and love them
- Give your Inner Child a hug and let them know that they are safe, that you will provide a space of protection for them where they can be free and safe
- Play with your inner child, do things that inspire laughter, go to the park, pick flowers, chase butterflies and paint
- Allow your Inner Child to be creative and make believe
- Regularly check in with your Inner Child
- Say to your Inner Child all of the words that you have ever wished that you had received in your life
- Let your Inner Child know that what they are feeling is ok
- Tell them how good they are
- Nature your Inner Child through play song and dance
- Allow your Inner Child to believe in magic
- If we really explore the feeling of loneliness from within you may find that there is a longing for connection, to people, places and even pets.
- At times of extreme loneliness, it could be fair to say that you are seeking externally in your world for deeper connections.
While this is extremely important and a basic human need to feel a sense of belonging in your community, your work place and your families, it is also just as important to go within and truly connect with the essence of your inner self.
Many of us have potentially gone years or have perhaps never experienced the inward journey of discovering what is really going on inside.
What is even inside of us?
I know for many years my avoidance of looking within was due to the fear of what it was that I would find.
Would there be some sort of presence within me that would judge me for who I am and the choices that I have made.
Would there be some sort of validation that at the core of by Being there would be something so terrible about myself that seeing that would leave me more damaged that I had already felt.
Would I discover that there was something wrong and more frighteningly something so completely unlovable about me that I wouldn’t be able to deal with the pain of what that may feel like.
And if what I found was so terrible would that mean then that I was right in all of the negative beliefs that I had continuously though about myself?
I think that it is fair to say that most of humanity has the belief within them that they are flawed in some monumental way.
And if this is our belief then it makes sense that we would create situations in our lives that would continue to reinforce this belief.
What I have come to know and understand through my own experiences of journeying inward is this:
- The judgments that I have of myself are only mine and not what those around would ever think of me
- Throughout my life it is only I that has taken the words and actions of others and turned them into the story within myself of not being enough
- The loneliness that I have felt within myself has been due to turning my gaze outside of myself to see how the world views me
- There is a benevolent loving force within the Universe that sees only the perfection of who I am
- The loving force of the Universe not only flows around me but also through me and within me
- When you allow yourself to fully rest within the stillness of who you are there is only love, no judgement, no criticism only full loving acceptance of all that you are
- There is a higher aspect of yourself, this could be referred to as your higher self, your higher consciousness or your Soul
- This higher aspect of yourself is ok with all that you are and all that is occurring and has occurred in your life because it’s all learning that expands your spiritual growth
- That everything in the Universe is connected
- That we are all connected and share the same loving light within us all
- There is no separation there is only love and connection
These inward journeyings have taught me that I can never truly be lonely as I am never disconnected from the Divine presence of life.
They have taught me that the only forgiveness that I require from what I believe to be wrong about myself is my own forgiveness.
They have taught me that I am loveable and I am whole
They have taught me that when I am feeling deep loneliness then I have turned my gaze outward and it’s time to come back to centre.
They have taught me that when I value and honour myself then my outside world reflects this back to me.
They have taught me that I am good and worthy and safe
They have taught me that life is precious, fulfilling and abundant
They have taught me that there is so much more to me than I think I am in my small and sometimes limited view of myself
They have taught me that forgiving others is the only way to true peace and release from the past
They have taught me that we are all doing the very best that we can
They have taught me that Nature is one of our greatest teachers
They have taught me that life loves me
They have taught me that when I seek guidance from a higher power it will always be provided to me
They have taught me that I can embrace all of my quirkiness and weirdness of myself and still be ok in the world
They have taught me that I am not my past and that all my past self needs from me is my compassion, love, understanding and forgiveness
They have taught me that it is safe for me to express myself
They have taught me that there is a light within me that has the right to shine
They have taught me that I am not required to DO anything if I choose not to and I am still loved
They have taught me that the lonelier I feel the further away from myself I have drifted
They have taught me that there a stillness within us all, a deep peace much like diving far beneath the ocean
They have taught me that my thoughts are not a representation of the true essence of who I am
In the beginning of my journeying inwards through meditation I was afraid, deeply afraid of what would be there waiting for me.
What I found was a connection to as essence so deeply profound that it took the fear away and replaced it with love, a love so overwhelming that it still brings tears to my eyes.
This in itself taught me that if this Divine presence could love me so intensely then I must truly be loveable and good.
If we nourished, nurtured, loved and cared for the Inner Child within us as much as we would our own child then maybe we would all feel safe within our moments of loneliness, maybe we would all know that it was ok to feel that way and know that it is only temporary.
If we all held our inner child, encouraged her or him, and provided them with a safe space of peace and unconditional love then maybe all of us could at last feel truly whole, connected, enough and brave enough to love ourselves.