Many of you would know by now how passionate I am about the power of meditation.
I am passionate about this because it was what I was guided to do 6 years ago now when my life was completely out of control.
I was living day to day with migraines, I was under a ridiculous amount of stress in my working environment and my relationships were not healthy.
In addition to that, I was struggling with so many addictive behaviours that I was spiraling out of control.
I was addicted to the game Candy Crush and my beautiful daughter still mentions how unavailable I was for her as I always had my head in the game.
I was also addicted to substances both prescribed and unprescribed.
The more intense my emotions became and my sense of not being in control of my life, the more I buried myself in my addictions in order to numb the pain, stress, anxiety and overwhelm that I was experiencing.
I felt a complete sense of isolation and disconnection and I did not feel that there was anyone that I could speak with or that could help me with what I was going through.
I felt a deep sense of shame and embarrassment and also a complete inability to change or stop what I was doing.
You see I had turned my back on my Spiritual Self and because I felt so deeply ashamed of myself for being such a wreck and a failure in every area of my life I believed that I was not good enough to seek the help of the Universe.
I had always been such a “good” person and had always done the “right” thing.
I had a strong connection to the Divine for as long as I could remember and in turning my back on what was once a daily practice for me, it only served to deepen my sense of isolation and disconnection.
The further away that I moved from that connection the more intensely I sought solace, connection and fulfillment in all of the things that could not give me what I was so desperately seeking.
Wholeness, love, acceptance, worthiness, appreciation, validation, respect.
My darkness moments were filled with self hatred and self loathing, it was suffocating, oppressive and I felt that I might drown and never again be able to breath.
This would just see the cycle begin again in the attempts to numb the pain.
So in a moment of despair I begged the Universe to please save me from myself because I knew that I could not go on living the way that I was.
As the Universe is always there to help us, my help come in the form of assisting someone else and in doing so I came across a meditation app.
The rest they say is history, but I don’t want to just brush over it.
Introducing a daily meditation practice into my life was my recovery.
In the blink of an eye my life literally changed forever.
I surrendered myself into the faithful and loving arms of the Universe and followed where It was guiding me.
I started out with just 5 minutes meditation morning and night.
I deleted all of the games off my phone.
The TV, Radio and all media went off.
I cut out all addictive substances and I started to eat clean.
I bought myself journals and I started the journey of self love and self forgiveness.
Each day my meditation experience filled me with hope, hope that I could heal, hope that I was lovable, hope that the Universe was supporting and loving me in spite of all of my actions.
It was through my daily meditation practice that I began to feel the connection and wholeness that I had spent so long searching for outside of myself.
It was in these moments that my faith in life was renewed, my connection to the Divine was rekindled and I began to build a relationship with myself.
It was during this time that I reconnected with the spiritual tools that I had once known so intimately.
I started my daily reiki self healing again also.
Within 5 months my world was vastly different.
My home was filled with beautiful relaxing music, candles burning, a sacred space had been created, I completed my Ascension Reiki Master level and I started doing my healing and intuitive work again.
Most of all I started to share with others my love and passion of meditation.
I introduced daily spiritual practices into my life such as:
Reading and listening to spiritual teachers
Journalling – manifesting, setting intentions
Getting out in Nature
Self love exercises and positive affirmations
Reframing negative self talk
Exercise and healthy eating
I can see now as I look back over my life having been born with such a powerful connection to the Divine that my period of darkness was for a higher purpose. As are all of our experiences.
Mine was this…
The connection that I have now with myself and the Divine is beyond anything that I had ever experienced before my darkness.
The love and compassion that I feel for myself, others and life is so profound and so much more than I had ever experienced before my darkness.
The level of understanding and empathy for the pain and suffering of others is more than I could have ever appreciated before my time of darkness.
If you are ready to step out of your darkness, to come back to love and wholeness then introducing daily spiritual practices is the vehicle in which you can do so in a way that lovingly supports you.