In all of the women that I have worked with, spoken with, and especially read for, there always seems to be an underlying thread.
With all of the women that I have worked with the common thread is that they are worried that the cards
, the universe or myself will identify that they are bad in some way or that there is something wrong with them.
I am always fascinated by this and I believe that each and every one of us on some level have this underlying belief that there is something wrong with us, that we are going to be punished for our deeds or that we are not good people.
Now I for one am not immune to this thinking as it has been an underlying belief that has followed me throughout most of my life.
This of course can most often be traced back to our earliest childhood.
For those of you who have had religious upbringings this of most likely links back to the church.
There were rules of how you should live your life and then the regular confessing of your sins that helped to ingrain the sense of wrongness or badness within you.
Then there were the old belief systems that sex was an act that could only be performed within the sanctity of marriage.
That’s even if you had a clue what sex was growing up because back in my day sex was not talked about or taught in anyway.
Sex was not something that I took lightly. I was absolutely terrified at the thought and I was lucky enough to have had an amazing first love that waited until I was ready and unlike so many women I only have good stories to tell about my early experiences.
This however did not take away the awful feeling that ran through me that I was bad and quite frankly it messed with my head in a huge way.
The ages 0-7, 8-14, from within the womb, past life or are passed down genealogically.
Many of us are not even aware of the decisions that we made we just know that it must be true even though we cannot logically explain it.
So you can see that in making a decision at such a young age about yourself is only then reaffirmed throughout your life as things happen:
For example – you may feel rejected by someone = I am not loved or lovable
You may be asked to be quiet in class and everyone looks at you or the teacher embarrasses you = It is not safe for me to speak
You may be full of joy and dancing around and someone says something negative about it = I cannot be joyful.
I remember once I was home on my own and I was in my lounge room at home singing my favourite song at the top of my lungs and my recorder was my microphone.
I did not hear my parents come home and as I used to lose myself when singing I got a shock to see them, my dad thought it was hilarious that I was using a recorder as a microphone and made a joke about it.
I was so deeply humiliated and embarrassed that it effected my confidence to sing in later years as the underlying embarrassment was that people would laugh at me.
Now my dad is the most beautiful man in the world and I love him dearly, he would never have done anything intentionally to hurt me and he would be so upset to know how deeply that had burned into my heart and my soul.
We all have lists of stories and events like these and worse that have accumulated throughout your life and decided that it must be truth.
What I am trying to convey to you is that it is our own internal judging that goes on long after these events or circumstances have passed.
We believe that because someone else said it or thought it of us it must be truth.
At the core we all feel a deep sense of shame on some level, shame for our actions, shame for the words that we have spoken, shame for our thoughts and shame that we are not all freaking perfect, we aren’t the right weight, we don’t have the right hair, we don’t wear the right clothes, we aren’t the greatest mums, we don’t have enough money, or we just think that we have failed on a colossal scale.
The work that I do now as a Self Discovery Coach
is to undo all of that wiring of limiting beliefs and decisions.
I have spent the last 6 years rewriting all of my own programming.
Each time that I have had a negative thought about myself I have shifted into these affirming
I love and approve of myself
I am enough
I am perfect just as I am
The Universe loves me
I am a great person.
I can do this
I’ve got this
I am safe
Life loves me
Everything is working out for me
The Universe has my back
I am doing the best that I can right now
Yes it still rears its ugly head if there is an emotional trigger but I am now equipped with this undeniable knowledge.
There is nothing in this world that you can do, be, say, think or have that would change how powerfully and unconditionally the Universe loves you.
In the eyes of the Universe you are perfect in every way.
In all of the women that I worked with the Love of the Divine has shone through with so much compassion and appreciation for all that everyone of her children has been through, and shown nothing but deep love for their pain, their sorrow, their shame and their fears and for who they are just as they are.
NEVER has there been any form of judgment coming from the Divine there is only love.
The only judgment is coming from you yourself.
It was through my regular meditation practice that I first encountered this incredible sense of unconditional love rising to meet me.
At first it literally bought me to my knees and initial reaction was to deflect it and flinch away from it because HOW could the Divine possibly love me after all that I had done “wrong” in my life.
And even though I wanted to deny that this could be true I continued with my daily practice.
I began to sense that if the Divine could love me so intently then maybe just maybe I could begin to believe that I was worthy, that I was good, and that I was lovable.
It was through this journey that I could begin to forgive and accept myself.
After all of the work, seeking, soul searching and connecting to the Universe that I have done this is what I now for sure.
You are not bad.
You are beautiful, you are perfect, you are loved, you are lovable, you are doing the best that you can and that is more than enough.
Everything about you is perfect in the eyes of the Divine.