The moment that you turn and face your fear


The moment that you turn and face your fears is the moment that your fears turn to dust
(Kerryn Slater)

We all know this feeling very well don’t we. 
For some of us it is the underlying force that runs continuously within us no matter where we are or what we are doing.

This is a feeling that I have experienced for as long as I can remember in my life.

It is that constant whirring in the pit of your stomach, nothing that you can really put your finger on but like the hair on your head its just always there.

It’s the sweaty armpits and hand.

The increased beating of the heart.

It’s the choking sensation in your throat.

It’s the sick feeling at the pit of your stomach
Its not being able to catch your breath.

And even worse it’s the crazy thoughts and images that are running out of control in your head – logically you know they are not real but you cannot stop them.

That moment of waking up in the middle of the night feeling as though someone is sitting on your chest
Or waking up in the middle of the night gasping for breath because you couldn’t breathe.

It’s the clenched jaw to the point that you can hardly talk its so sore.

Its choking on your food as it goes down your constricted throat – I once nearly passed out from this, I actually had a moment of thinking OMG I am going to die and I cannot tell anyone I am in trouble.

It’s not going to a function because you cannot bear the thorough of trying to make decent coherent conversation with people that you do not know for fear that you will sound stupid.

It’s the crazy over analysing of every word that was spoken in a conversation and finding fault in every little thing that you did and said.

It’s knowing that you are not happy in your current situation yet choosing to sit in unhappiness because the fear of moving forward into the unknown is to great.

It’s that moment when you think Oh I have something to say and then your heart starts racing, your chest tightens and your throat constricts so you just swallow it back down again rather than risk putting yourself out there to be judged.

Believe me I have experienced all of these and so much more.

I know fear inside and out

It is debilitating and so many people go through their lives never actually having lived because it was so much easier to stay within the safe confines of fear.

Fear once worn regularly becomes like your favourite coat, its all worn, its probably faded and beginning to fray around the edges but because it is so comfy and you have had it so long you just keep wearing it.

What I have learned over the last four years is this. 

Fear has its place, it has a very important role and that is to keep us safe at all costs.

Even at the expense of experiencing life it would rather keep you small than see you shine and risk being hurt in anyway.

Fear is there to send that shot of adrenaline through your veins so that you can outrun the lion that is at your heels.

Fear is there to let you know that something is not right in your environment and to be on alert 
Fear is there to ensure that you don’t step out onto the road the moment that a car is hurtling past.

Fear is there to inform you of when you or your children are in danger.

At what point though did we all give fear the keys to running our whole lives.

Fear also is like a small child that is trying to get your attention, the more that you try and ignore it the louder and louder that it becomes.

Now we all know that the majority of the time that our fear/s never come to fruition, we project this image for example of the lion chasing us, as we imagine this our bodies instantly react and activate our fight or flight response so that we can outrun the lion. 

Fear also = Fantasised Events Appearing Real

As you are imagining all that could possibly go wrong in your life your subconscious mind because it does not know the difference between real and imagined activates everything in your body to keep you safe.

If we are always in a state of fear we are continuously producing the stress hormone cortisol and potentially will experience adrenal fatigue.

Just as any of our other emotions deserve the right to be heard so does our fear.

I love this from Florence Scovel Schinn

“Someone has said that courage contains genius and magic. Face a situation fearlessly, and there is no situation to face; it falls away of its own weight.”

“Fear is misdirected energy and must be redirected or transmuted into Faith”

My statement for the last 4 years has been feel the fear and do it anyway and I can tell you honesty that no matter how hard my fear has tried to stop me, the outcomes were all better than I could have imagined and I felt amazing afterwards.

In fact I was more than alive I was exhilarated and on top of the world.

Buddha teaches that we should invite fear in, we should welcome the fear and in doing so the fear loses all of its power. 

Here are just a few of the techniques that I use that help me significantly in my life.

Fear is a very real sensation in your body

1.Sit and physically place your hand on the area of your body where you feel the fear,
Breathe into the fear,
Feel the space around the fear where it sits in your body
Repeat the word, Fear, Fear, Fear, Fear, Fear.

In this moment you are giving the energy of fear in your body your fullest attention and in doing so it space, you are bringing conscious awareness to it and in this moment it can begin to dissipate from your body

2. Write in your Journal
What am I most afraid of right now in this moment
If my fear to speak to me what would it want to tell me right now
What do I need to know
What action if any can I take right now
Thank you fear for revealing to me what I need to know right now, thank you for always doing your job of keeping me safe so brilliantly, I am grateful but thanks I’ve got it from here on in.

3. Bring your attention to your breath
Follow your breath all the way into your body and all of the way out of your body.
Noticing where in your body your breath flows into, does it flow into your chest or your belly.

Feel the rise and fall of your chest or the expansion and contraction of your belly
Do this for 5 full rotations

4. My favourite from Byron Katie

* Ask yourself this question over and over “IS THIS REALLY TRUE”

I hope that these serve you as well as they have served me


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